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Making mom friends as an expat in Spain

The fastest way to make mom friends as an expat in Spain is to show up, again and again, in the places Spanish families already go with their kids: the neighborhood park in the late afternoon, the postpartum groups run by the midwife at your local health center, baby story time at the public library, and the school gate. Add one or two English-speaking communities for the days you need to vent in your own language, and be patient with yourself for a few months. It can feel slower than back home, and lonelier than you expected, but it does happen.

Why does it feel so hard at first?

You're not imagining it, and you're not doing anything wrong. Spain now has more than 10 million residents who were born abroad, according to the national statistics institute (INE), which means plenty of other moms around you started from zero too. But being surrounded by people doesn't stop you from feeling alone. The 2024 Spanish barometer on unwanted loneliness, published by Fundación ONCE and Fundación AXA, found that 20% of people in Spain experience it, and that the rate among people of foreign origin is almost double that of people of Spanish origin. So if this is you right now, you're in very large company, even if it doesn't feel that way at the swings.

Add a baby or a toddler, a language you're still learning and family several time zones away, and of course this is hard. It's okay to miss home and to grieve a little for the help you'd have there. The good news is that Spanish family life happens very much in public, which gives you a lot of gentle chances to meet people without having to plan anything big.

Start at your health center (centro de salud)

Once you're registered with the town hall (the empadronamiento, which unlocks a lot of public services) and have your health card, you'll be assigned a midwife (matrona) and a pediatrician at your local centro de salud. This is one of the most underrated places to meet other moms. Many health centers run prenatal classes and postpartum or parenting groups led by the midwife, where moms bring their babies and talk about feeding, sleep and whatever else comes up. In the Madrid region, primary care midwives have run these groups for years, including online versions.

The groups are in Spanish, and if that makes you nervous, it helps to remember that nobody expects perfect grammar from a sleep-deprived new mom. Everyone in the room is at the same stage as you, with the same questions and the same tiredness. You could ask your matrona whether there's one at your center. It's very normal to grab a coffee afterwards with the mom whose baby is the same age as yours.

Spanish park culture, the library and the school gate

Spanish parks fill up in the late afternoon, from school pickup until dinner (which is late here). Moms, dads and grandparents stand around chatting while the kids play, and the same people tend to come back to the same park at the same time. If you pick one park and go most days, you'll soon go from "the mom who speaks English" to someone people say hi to by name. If starting a conversation feels daunting, a simple opener is enough: asking how old her baby is, or which escuela infantil (daycare) she likes nearby. And if it doesn't go anywhere one afternoon, that's fine, there will be another one tomorrow.

Public libraries are another lovely option. Many municipal libraries have baby areas (bebetecas) and free story times for kids under three, and you'll see the same families every week. By the third or fourth session, suggesting a coffee doesn't feel strange at all.

When your kids start daycare or school, it's worth looking at the AMPA, the parents' association. They run parties, fundraisers and small committees, and joining one is a natural way to see the same people regularly without having to force anything. The class WhatsApp group can be overwhelming, but it's also how you find out who lives on your street.

Finding English-speaking communities in Madrid

Having a few people who get your references is a real relief, especially in the first year, and wanting that doesn't mean you're not making an effort to fit in. In Madrid, two clubs are worth a look. The American Women's Club of Madrid describes itself as a social and charitable nonprofit for English-speaking women, and the American Club of Madrid runs regular social and professional events for internationals (it's more networking than playdates, but it's a way to build a circle). Expat.com's guide to building a social network in Madrid also points out that Facebook hosts many local groups for families, moms and people from specific countries, and searching for your neighborhood plus "moms" or "English-speaking families" is often the quickest way in. Membership, fees and how active each group is change over time, so it's a good idea to check their recent events before you commit.

Outside Madrid, you can try the same search for your city, and ask at international schools and English-language churches or community centers, which may know about parent-and-toddler groups.

Learning Spanish while meeting people

The more Spanish you speak, the easier the park bench gets. Madrid's official tourism site lists several language exchanges (intercambios), where you swap an hour of English for an hour of Spanish over a drink. Most are in the evenings in bars, so they work better once you can get a babysitter. If you live in the Madrid region, the Centros de Participación e Integración (CEPI) offer free Spanish classes that are open to everyone registered in the region, which also makes them a good place to meet other newcomers.

Small groups of moms nearby

If walking up to a stranger at the swings isn't your thing, a small group of moms who live close to you can make the first step easier, because you already know everyone is there for the same reason. TribuMama, an app made in Spain, puts moms who live a short walk apart into groups of up to 10, with a group chat that doesn't share phone numbers, and it works in English as well as Spanish. Most groups are in Madrid so far, though there are some in other Spanish cities, and if there isn't one near you yet you can start it. You can read how safety works on our safety page.

When loneliness gets heavy

Missing home and feeling isolated is common, especially with a little one and your family far away. But if low mood doesn't lift, you've stopped enjoying things or you're struggling to look after yourself, please talk to your midwife or your family doctor (médico de cabecera), who can help or refer you. Asking for help is a way of looking after yourself and your family. If you'd rather talk in English, Samaritans in Spain runs a free, confidential helpline for English speakers on 900 525 100, every day from 10am to midnight. And if you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, call 024, the Spanish Ministry of Health's free, confidential suicide prevention line, which is open 24 hours a day.

Building a circle in a new country takes time, and you don't have to do all of this at once. Trying just one thing from this guide this week, whether it's going back to the same park or asking your matrona about her group, is already a real step. Be kind to yourself on the days it feels slow, because little by little, Spain can start to feel like a place where you have your people too.

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